Why It's TIME to Take RESPONSIBILITY For Your Life | John R. Miles

 Coming up next, on The Passion struck podcast.  personal accountability is where you own your  

responsibility for your actions, your choices and  commitments. This is often easier said than done,  

especially when holding yourself accountable  for a failure or a mistake. Failure to take  

responsibility makes you feel like a piece of  driftwood move by the current and the win. But  

with no apparent direction, you become susceptible  to all the negativities in life and meaning starts  

to elude you. Welcome to passion struck. Hi,  I'm your host, John R. Miles and on the show,  

we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of  the world's most inspiring people and turn their  

wisdom into practical advice for you and those  around you. Our mission is to help you unlock  

the power of intentionality so that you can become  the best version of yourself. If you're new to the  

show. I offer advice and answer listener questions  on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest  

of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to  authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists,  

military leaders, visionaries and athletes. Now,  let's go out there and become passion struck.  

Hello, everyone. And welcome back to momentum  Friday in Episode 169 of passion struck recently  

rated this week by Apple. It's one of the top  five alternative health podcasts. And thank you  

again for you all coming here to listen and  learn how to live better, be better and impact  

the world. If you're new to the show. Thank you so  much for being here. If you want to introduce this  

to a friend or family member, and we love it when  you do that. We now have episodes starter packs,  

both on Spotify and on the passion struck  website. These are collections of our fans  

favorite episodes, we organize into convenient  topics to give any new listener a great way to get  

acquainted to everything we do here on the show,  just go to passion struck.com/starter packs to get  

started. And in case you missed my interviews from  earlier this week they included Kurt Wilkin, who  

is an entrepreneur, a co founder of Hire Better  and the author of the new book, who's your mic,  

and we discuss his tips of the people that you  will encounter and the decisions that you need  

to make along your entrepreneurial journey. We  also had on Abi Morgan, who's a playwright and  

screenwriter of some very popular films and  TV series, including the split suffergette,  

the Iron Lady, Invisible Woman and many more,  and we discuss her new book. This is not a pity  

memoir. And in case you missed my solo episode  from last week, it was on why do average choices  

lead to mediocre results, please check them all  out. I also wanted to acknowledge our fan of The  

Week Constance Smith, who writes growth in every  episode, I started listening to passion struck at  

the end of 2021. And since then, this podcast has  always been one of my go twos, I always end each  

episode with a sense of peace and empowerment.  Thank you, John miles for helping me grow as I  

navigate life as a young adult, thank you constant  so much for that review. They go such a long way  

in helping with our ratings and the popularity  of the show. And if you love today's episode,  

or any of the ones I previously mentioned, we  would so appreciate the five star rating a review. 

Now let's talk about today's episode, I am often  asked why do people fail to take responsibility  

for their actions as motivational speaker Jim  Rohn once said, either you run the day or the day  

runs you this quote highlights the importance  of taking charge of our habits or inadvertently  

letting our choices dictate the state of our  being. In a nutshell, we are doing exactly  

what we as humans are programmed to do due to our  inactions. We allow life to happen to us. And as  

I talked about last week, it's why average choices  lead to mediocre results. It's a sign of emotional  

maturity. When we accept responsibility for our  actions, it displays self awareness and unbelief  

that we can change and learn to do better. On the  other hand, when we encounter entitlement, trauma,  

shame, perfectionism, or denial, it often leads  to our failure to hold ourselves accountable.  

Instead, we find someone or something else  to put blame on when things are not going  

our way. And the problem is that it cascades  from there. By failing to take the necessary  

intentional actions to create the life that you  want, you will ultimately end up with the one  

that you do not want. In the words of the notable  talk show host television producer, actress,  

author and philanthropist, Oprah Winfrey, "you are  responsible for your life and if you're sitting  

around waiting for someone to save you fix you to  even help you you are wasting your time because  

only you have the power to take responsibility  to move your life forward. And the sooner  

you get that the sooner your life gets into gear."  Taking responsibility in our lives. starts in the  

everyday things that we do as well as the habits  that we form how you respond when you're in a  

traffic situation what you do when you have a  financial need the food options that you choose  

that impact your health how you react when someone  annoys you, as well as countless other situations.  

These everyday situations make up the hole and  determine if life will happen to us or the other  

way around. To illustrate the point of today's  episode, I will use the fable of the wise old  

man. It's a simple and relatable one but learning  and applying its lessons have far reaching impacts  

and helping us take charge of our lives. Thank you  for choosing passion struck and choosing me to be  

your host and guide on your journey to creating  an intentional life. Now let that journey began. 

Once upon a time, an old scholar was asked  to when a boy of his bad habits the wise old  

man took the child for a walk through a garden  as they approached a vegetable patch he asked  

the young boy to pull out a tiny plant that  was growing there. The youth held the plant  

between his fingers and easily pulled it out  the old Wiseman then asked the boy to pull out  

a slightly larger plant the child pulled hard and  the plant came out roots and all then the old wise  

man pointed to a bush and asked the youth to pull  it out of the ground. The boy pulled and pulled  

using all his strength and finally he was able to  yank it from the ground. The old man then pointed  

to a guava tree and asked the young boy to bring  it to him. The youth grasped its trunk and tried  

with all his might to remove it but the tree would  not budge. I can't do it. It's simply impossible,  

said the boy puffing and huffing from the effort  the why is old men men said so it is with bad  

habits and taking responsibility for your actions.  When habits are initially formed. It's easy  

to stop them from growing but when they become  entrenched, they become so much harder to approve  

the boy learned a vital lesson from the wise old  man take responsibility for your bad choices and  

habits while you have control over them else they  will start to control you like the story of the  

wise old man, it's a lot easier to talk about  taking responsibility than to actually do it. As  

we can see from this story, taking responsibility  for our actions requires us to realize that  

we play an integral role in every situation  or experience that we encounter. Therefore,  

we can all choose our responses. It really  is up to us. Let's now examine the effects  

of not taking responsibility and the necessary  steps to take charge and become our best selves.

So why do people refuse to accept responsibility?  Simply put, when you don't take responsibility for  

your life, things just happen to you. When I say  things I'm referring to every unwanted situation  

that you can imagine personal accountability  is where you own your responsibility for your  

actions, choices and commitments. This is often  so much easier said than done, especially when  

holding yourself accountable for a failure  or a mistake. Failure to take responsibility  

makes you like a piece of driftwood moved by the  current and wind without any goal or direction  

you become susceptible to all the negatives in  life and meaning starts to elude you you become  

complacent and constantly fear what the next  moment may bring. So I want to do a quick check.  

Take a moment and ask yourself what things could  happen if I don't take personal responsibility  

for my life. Think deeply about your answer. Many times we feel helpless when we're faced  

with challenges this feeling of helpless  sadness or hopelessness is often a result of  

our inability to see and understand that we are  not merely subjects to circumstances but there  

are always available options in any given  situation. We need to realize that in life,  

we are all given choices to make and those choices  not circumstances will ultimately determine the  

state of our lives. taking personal responsibility  all begins with your understanding of the power  

of choice and knowing that you can always choose  let us consider the case of Dr. Viktor Frankl, a  

neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, writer and  Holocaust survivor in his autobiographical book  

Man's Search for Meaning he emphasized the need  for everyone to realize that we all have choices.  

Despite the situations that we find ourselves in,  he wrote, "We who lived in concentration camps can  

remember the men who walked throughout the huts,  confronting others and giving away their last  

piece of bread. They may have been few in number,  but they offer sufficient proof that everything  

can be taken from a man but one thing the last  of human freedoms to choose one's own way. And  

there are always choices to make every day every  hour offered the opportunity to make a decision,  

a decision which determined whether you would or  would not submit to those powers which threatened  

to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom,  which determined whether or not you would become  

the plaything of circumstance renouncing freedom  and dignity to become molded into the form  

of a typical inmate." Through these words, he  made it clear that we each follow our own paths,  

and that it's our choices that ultimately  make the difference between accepting  

responsibility and accountability for our  actions. No matter what we may be facing.  

Even when you've been mistreated and hurt, you  can still in that very situation, choose to focus  

on helping others who are in similar predicaments.  And although you can't control everything,  

you can control the things that absolutely matter,  you and only you have the power over your mind.  

Once you realize this, you will find the strength  to courageously decide to move past whatever stops  

you from rising to responsibility. The fact is, it  doesn't matter where you come from, or what your  

background is. It doesn't matter what someone  did to you in the past, what matters is now the  

present because the present is all that you have  and your willingness to accept it Forgive the  

past and ultimately take responsibility will help  you move forward into the future that you desire. 

So what are some common examples of taking  accountability for your actions? There are  

many ways to take accountability in your life,  including these eight examples you recognize  

and own your responsibility for whatever is  transpiring. If you hurt someone, you have  

the self awareness and willingness to acknowledge  how your communication may have been damaging to  

the other person you accept responsibility when  you're at fault. You stick up for what is right  

not what is popular. You stop making excuses for  the negative things that happen to you. You don't  

pass off accountability or all the failure on to  your friends, partner or subordinates. You hold  

yourself accountable for missing deadlines. If  you experience relationship troubles, you seek to  

understand how you are contributing to and even  exasperating the challenges and the friction.

So now that I've given you those eight examples,  let's discuss the consistency that's required in  

taking responsibility. Once you choose to be  responsible in your life, you must realize  

that it's going to take a lot of conscious  effort and strength to stay down that path.  

Humans by nature are creatures of habit as I  talked about at the beginning of this episode,  

we quickly do those things we're already used  to doing and whenever we try to do things  

differently, there will always be the tendency  to step back into our bad habits after you've  

decided to take charge of your life. You need to  consciously put in the work every day to ensure  

that you do what you say like with the story of  the wise old man there will be many situations  

that will provide the opportunities to exercise  your ability to take responsibility recognize them  

as they come and see their importance. When you  consistently do your best to take charge in each  

situation you will strengthen your ability to  take accountability for your actions over time  

taking responsibility will become your first  and natural response. In any given situation,  

also check out my previous episode on the science  of habits and how to make healthy habits stick. 

The aim of this episode isn't to discard the  reality of the difficulties in some people's lives  

or others. Some people are simply more advantaged  than others. They're born and raised into better  

homes given access to better financial resources,  live and more enabling environments and so forth.  

But the reality is life is simply not fair. You  must accept your reality because it's all that you  

have to work with. When you do you will be able  to find meaning in your life. Take responsibility  

for your actions and unleash your contribution  to the world. Be intentional about taking the  

driver's wheel of your life and don't leave it on  autopilot. Like that piece of driftwood the only  

person who can empower you is you but if you don't  take responsibility that power will remain dormant  

and eventually die out when you do you will be  able to change not just the world within you,  

but also the one outside as well. Remember, time  only knows one thing and that is to move forward.  

If you don't take charge of your life today, you  won't only be stagnant you will find yourself  

retrenching as the world around you moves forward  choose to be intentional with your life today,  

I realize it may be difficult for you to take  responsibility for your actions particularly when  

they have consequences but rest assured it will be  worth that John C. Maxwell the best selling author  

once penned, "people who blame others for their  failures never overcome them. They simply move  

from problem to problem to reach your potential  you must continually improve yourself and you  

can't do that if you don't take responsibility  for your actions and learn from your mistakes." 

Hey, y'all. I hope you enjoyed the show. I  want to thank everyone who wrote in this week  

and especially those who tuned in and listen  to the show. A link to the transcript will  

be in the shownotes videos are on YouTube at  John R miles where we now have over 360 videos  

for you to peruse, advertiser deals and discount  codes are all in one convenient place at Passion  

struck.com/deals. I am at John R Miles both on  Twitter and Instagram. And you can also find me  

on LinkedIn. You are about to hear a preview  of the Passion Struck podcast interview with  

DJ Vanas, who is an author, internationally  acclaimed speaker and author of two New York  

Times best-selling books. In the episode we  discuss his new book The Warrior Within and  

how you can apply the warrior spirit to your life that warrior role in Tribal communities is very  

different than the Hollywood image. That's not  the image that we have in our tribal communities,  

somebody who has dedicated their life  to service and it wasn't about glory,  

it was about what they could contribute  to their tribe. And we sometimes have a  

misconception that warrior is all about they  get it right every time they make no mistakes.  

They don't feel pain. They don't feel fear, which  is all baloney. I mean, it's garbage. It gets us  

into trouble when we over-romanticize that role. Remember, we rise by lifting others. So share the  

show with those you love. And if you found this  episode useful, please share it with someone  

else who can use the advice that I gave today. In  the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear  

on the show so you can live what you listen and  we'll see you next time live life passion struck